Gardening with a toddler can be difficult. Especially if you’re just learning to grow a vegetable garden in the first place!
I had about 3 years of growing food and flowers in my backyard under my belt before becoming pregnant with my first baby. While I’d definitely learned a lot by then, I still considered myself a student of gardening (and still do!).
When I first started gardening again as a new mom, honestly I just wasn’t enjoying my garden anymore.
The whole thing felt like an overwhelming to-do list. With what little time and energy I had, I found myself aggressively pulling overgrown grass out of my garden beds. While trying not to cry.
I had to relearn how to garden.
I did get there, with lots of trial and error.
But each new stage of motherhood also required switching things up. What worked for me gardening with a toddler in tow is very different from what worked gardening while pregnant, or gardening with a newborn baby.
Now with our second child on the way, I’m learning what works in a whole new set of seasons. I’ll definitely continue to share what works for me as I go through them!
The goal of this series is to share what’s made the biggest difference for me as a momma who’s gardening with a toddler, and I hope they’ll help you too.
Reframe your gardening goals
Every mom I know has a running list of goals and to-do’s constantly playing in their minds. I know I had one going looong before I had kids.
One of the biggest challenges I’ve had in adjusting to motherhood is in my own expectations. Specifically, changing my expectations of how much I can get done at any given moment.
It’s been a rude awakening realizing that I can’t expect to do things in the way, or at the frequency that I used to.
Overall, this has been an incredible gift because it forces me to:
1. Be more intentional about my priorities and
2. Just enjoy being present with my little one
But the struggle is real getting to a place where the benefits are obvious. And it’s something that I still work at every day.
When it comes to gardening, things aren’t any different. You may have a long list of gardening to-do’s. But like me, your expectations for what you can actually accomplish might have to change while gardening with a toddler.
Write down your garden to-do’s
The first step to not feeling so overwhelmed by the list is to actually write it down.
Grab a pen and paper, make a spreadsheet, or go wild with an Asana board! It doesn’t really matter how you go about it, but getting it all out of your head can be so beneficial.
Keeping your list in a physical (or digital) spot relieves your brain from the job of trying to constantly remember it all.
Once you have your list, it’s easy to quickly take a look and see what’s next.
This could mean doing things in a certain order, or deciding on a whim what feels most important, or what feels good for you to start on any given day.
It’s your garden and your list. You get to choose what works best for you.
Add up the small wins
Gardening with a toddler (or trying to do anything with a toddler, really) can feel like you’re starting and stopping, all day long, without ever really getting anywhere.
As a person who likes to check things off the list, only working on something for about 5 minutes before being interrupted was maddening.
Now, if all I get is 5 minutes of uninterrupted time before my toddler needs my attention, that’s okay. I count those 5 minutes as time that I still got to spend working towards a goal.
A lot of times I’ll work for a few minutes while he’s playing on his own in a safe spot, then he decides to wander.
When that happens, instead of getting frustrated (like I used to), I appreciate his curiosity, and join him on his little adventure around the yard.
After a few minutes he’ll usually decide to wander back to his original activity. Then I pick up right where I left off.
This mindset shift from focusing on progress instead of completion has been huge.
It removed all the stress and frustration of not getting to push towards a goal, and instead made being outside a much more relaxing experience.
Have your gardening tools handy
Have what you need for your project easily accessible. Garden tools don’t do you any good if they’re so far away that you have to keep carting your toddler back and forth to go get them.
A simple wagon with all of your most used garden supplies is a great way to get what you need where you need it.
Plus, you can load it up with anything else you might otherwise carry like water bottles for you and your little one, snacks, jackets… you know the list can go on and on.
In addition to that, wearing a garden apron makes it easy to carry exactly what you need for what you’re doing at the moment.
If you’re in the middle of pruning your tomato plants when your toddler needs your attention, you can quickly pop your clippers and gloves right in the apron.
Then when they’re settled again, you don’t have to waste time grabbing tools again. You have what you need on you and can get right back to it.
Include your toddler while gardening
Young children are such curious little creatures. Everything in their world is new and fun. They want to see what you’re seeing and do what you’re doing.
Really, they just want to be included and you are the most interesting person they know.
Being able to see this as a gift more than a distraction is the key to you and your toddler both growing a love for the garden.
Take full advantage of the fact that they want to learn from you.
Pick things in your garden just for them.
It could be an old flower head that you use to show them where seeds come from.
Or maybe it’s a snap pea that could become their new favorite garden snack.
Our son was just starting to eat solid foods when our first blueberries and raspberries came in. We’d break them up into little pieces for him to try.
Seeing his little face light up filled us with so much joy that he pretty much got to eat every piece of fruit we got that season!
There will be things they try that they don’t like. That’s okay.
The point is that they get more exposure to fresh food from your garden.
Make space for them to explore
Even with your best efforts to keep your backyard kid friendly, it’s always best to take a quick glance in all of the areas where your kid might play.
Since gardening means always working on projects, look for any tools that might have been left out.
If you have tools that you’re still using, you can keep them out of reach, or all in one “no touch” area.
If your toddler is still getting steady on their feet, make sure there aren’t any obstacles or things they can trip on when trying to access their favorite play areas.
I like for my son to feel mostly independent to move where he wants to, so I quickly check to make sure different areas in the backyard are safe for him before he gets there.
I’m always looking to see what he has in his hands (and what’s slowly moving towards his mouth).
Doing these quick checks doesn’t take more than a second, and I’m a lot less stressed about keeping him safe in the garden.
Create play areas for your toddler in the garden
For some families, having a dedicated play area in the garden comes in handy.
If you don’t have a play structure or sandbox, no worries.
Creating a play space can be as simple as bringing out a water table, or some old bowls and cups for them to play in the mud.
Right now my son loves to dig. Specifically, he loves picking up handfuls of dirt and putting them in another place. Any place. He’s not picky.
So we have specific buckets where he can pull old potting soil out of one and pour it into another. Sometimes he throws it on the ground right next to him. He’s safe, occupied and happy, so I’m happy too.
Whatever the activity is that your child currently loves doing, creating a space for them can help keep them entertained while you tend your garden.
Let go of what doesn’t really matter to you
There will be things that you’ll have to learn to be flexible about when it comes to gardening with a toddler.
For me, one of those things is letting my little guy pick Every.Single.One of my plant tags out of the garden beds.
I get why he wants them. They’re colorful and within reach.
At first this drove me crazy trying to teach him to leave them alone. Or trying to keep track of where he got them so I could put them back later.
Then I realized that having my plant tags stay put was just something that I didn’t care enough about.
Frankly, I didn’t want to spend time any more mental energy worrying about them.
I also realized that at a certain point I mostly knew where everything was in my garden. And as far as keeping track of varieties, I just let it become a fun guessing game.
Letting go of a simple thing like plant tags staying put was huge for my mental energy. Now, if my toddler wants to spend 15 minutes playing with the tags in the garden, I’m just happy he’s occupied!
Use the garden as an opportunity to learn boundaries
There will be other things in your vegetable garden that don’t feel as flexible.
For you that might actually include keeping your tags where they’re supposed to be, and that’s totally valid.
The rules you do want to keep, a garden is a great place for your toddler to practice listening.
Most new seedlings aren’t going to survive being grabbed by a toddler who doesn’t always know their own strength. This can be an opportunity for your toddler to practice being “gentle”.
They can learn that touching the plants softly is okay, but pulling on them roughly isn’t.
Sometimes the answer is No
Then there will be things that you don’t allow in your garden at all.
For me this includes trying to climb in the garden beds, or pulling on the metal staples that hold the water lines. These are a hard No in our garden.
Everyone is going to have things that they’re okay with, and things that either drive them crazy or just don’t feel safe.
Figure out what each one is for you and you can teach your toddler the difference.
Stop when it stops being fun
Spending time gardening with your toddler truly can be a fulfilling experience for both of you.
Most kids LOVE going outside and are happy to be there. Watching their little face light up when you say it’s time to put on shoes is the cutest!
But some days aren’t so cute. Some days it’s all tantrums and not listening.
When it’s not fun to be outside anymore- maybe you’re frustrated or you feel yourself getting to that point- it’s okay to just go back inside.
I used to dread going outside with my little one because it felt so stressful. So I would procrastinate, and some days we didn’t make it outside at all.
I had to get to the point where I wasn’t just “taking the baby outside” as another obligation.
I had to make it important that we BOTH enjoyed our time in the garden.
And when we weren’t anymore, no big deal. We could just try again later or the next day.
Keep your most important thing, the most important thing
It’s so easy to get caught up in thinking that the most critical part of having a garden is keeping it well maintained, beautiful, and productive.
When this happens it’s good to think back to why you wanted a garden in the first place.
Sure, you get to grow food and flowers right in your backyard, but there was likely so much more to it than that.
Maybe you wanted a garden to:
- have a beautiful space for you and your family to hang out in
- To get more fresh air and spend more time enjoying being outdoors
- To have a sanctuary or relaxing space for yourself
- To get your kids interested in learning about food (and fingers crossed, eating more veggies!)
If any or all of these things resonate with you, it’s helpful to slow down so you can reconnect with these goals.
For some people the most important goal really is to grow as much food for their family as possible. And that’s 100% okay.
But for most of us with backyard kitchen gardens, we’re in it for the experiences it can give us and our family.
So make sure you’re actually enjoying your experience.
Take it from someone who’s whole life changed because of a small garden- there’s so much beauty, wonder, and abundance waiting for you.
And it all can be found in your backyard.
How are you gardening with a toddler?
I hope this list gives you some ideas on how to enjoy your backyard vegetable garden along with your little helper.
It might be difficult the first few times, but remember you can pick just one and start with that. If it doesn’t work, toss it and try something else.
Wherever you decide to start, I’d love to hear how it goes!
Leave a comment below sharing what works for you.
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